A couple of weeks ago we were doing a study of Philippians in the high school portion of twentyfourseven. When we got to Philippians 2:12, “continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling”, one of the students asked what “Fear of God” was.
My response was something like this… I have always thought of fear of God in these terms. If you spend a lot time picking out your clothes or doing your hair because you are worried about what people are going to think, or you base most of your daily decisions on what others might think of you, you are operating under “Fear of Man.” That is, you are more worried about what others think than doing what is right, you have Fear of Man. If you are more worried about what God thinks than others, you have a little Fear of God in you. It’s kind of like when you were a kid and you didn’t do certain things, not because you didn’t want to, but because you knew your parents would punish you for them. That’s “Fear of Mom”!
I’d like to share with you a little from my life to help you understand this little better.
Growing up, I had a dream. A dream to someday become a rock star. To get on MTV, tour the world and sell millions of records. I followed this dream for a long time. For most of that time, two guys followed right along with me, Stevie Benton and Mike Luce. For reasons that had a lot to do with the way I was brought up and my personal morals, after several years, the seedy side of the rocker lifestyle caused me to look at my life closer and I decided to quit before I became something that I didn’t want to become. My friends continued in their dreams, and almost ten years later,
They got on MTV, they toured the world and they sold nearly 2 million albums. The name of their album was Sinner.
About the same time that my friends found success, I rediscovered God. When I started going back to church about ten years ago, it caused a change in my relationship with my friends. When I started working for a church, that change became a rift between Dave and I. Dave had been the singer for Drowning Pool for about three years and we were close friends. We watched football games together, had Thanksgiving together, he played with my kids… he was my friend. But now, I was working for the church that he had grown up despising. Dave, Stevie and I had grown up in small North Texas towns and were told all our lives that we were going to Hell for one reason or another. Mostly because we had long hair and listened to hard rock music. Dave didn’t talk to me for nearly two years. By then, I was working as a full-time youth pastor in Corpus Christi. When the band came to Corpus on their first major tour, they were there for two days. I spent two days hanging with Stevie, Mike and CJ, but Dave would have nothing to do with me. He never went anywhere we went, and if I came around, he left. After their show the next day, just before getting on their bus to leave, Dave came up to me. He gave me a hug and told me that he was sorry for avoiding me. “I thought that you would be different” he said. “I am different,” I said. “Yeah, but I thought you would be different different.”
Right then, I felt a door swing wide open. I knew that I could talk to Dave for the first time about my faith, and that he would probably listen.
But I didn’t.
I told him that I would see him the next time they were in town.
But I didn’t see Dave ever again.
Nine months later, Dave died of cardiomyopathy. His heart had become too weak to keep him alive and he died in his sleep.
I never had the chance to tell Dave about my faith.
I had not been in Corpus very long when Dave died. His funeral was scheduled for the same night that our youth group was kicking off a new school year. Afraid of what people might think if I canceled the first youth group of the school year to go to a heavy metal singer’s funeral, I decided not to go.
This decision caused a rift between me and Stevie. Stevie, who had been my friend for almost 15 years.
Stevie, who was the only friend that stuck by me through my divorce.
Stevie, my best friend.
I decided two things from that week:
One, I would never miss a chance to talk to my friends about my faith. I never spend time with Stevie, Mike or CJ that my job or my faith or God does not come up.
Two, I would never let what people thought about my friends or my relationship with them to come between me and them.
I missed the chance to talk to my friend about my faith because I was afraid of what he would think and then I missed his funeral because I was afraid of what people think.
Part of my job here at Holy Spirit is to bring the youth of this church into a fuller knowledge of Christ and to help them to develop the disciplines needed to grow into a deeper relationship with Him. But God’s call on my life is much bigger than that. It isn’t limited to the youth of this church. In fact, God calls all of us to be witnesses for him for all people at all times. Not just the people here at church or the people we consider “safe”. So, I’d like to leave you with this challenge: Who are your friends and what kind of witness are you to them? Is your fear in God or in man?
My response was something like this… I have always thought of fear of God in these terms. If you spend a lot time picking out your clothes or doing your hair because you are worried about what people are going to think, or you base most of your daily decisions on what others might think of you, you are operating under “Fear of Man.” That is, you are more worried about what others think than doing what is right, you have Fear of Man. If you are more worried about what God thinks than others, you have a little Fear of God in you. It’s kind of like when you were a kid and you didn’t do certain things, not because you didn’t want to, but because you knew your parents would punish you for them. That’s “Fear of Mom”!
I’d like to share with you a little from my life to help you understand this little better.
Growing up, I had a dream. A dream to someday become a rock star. To get on MTV, tour the world and sell millions of records. I followed this dream for a long time. For most of that time, two guys followed right along with me, Stevie Benton and Mike Luce. For reasons that had a lot to do with the way I was brought up and my personal morals, after several years, the seedy side of the rocker lifestyle caused me to look at my life closer and I decided to quit before I became something that I didn’t want to become. My friends continued in their dreams, and almost ten years later,
They got on MTV, they toured the world and they sold nearly 2 million albums. The name of their album was Sinner.
About the same time that my friends found success, I rediscovered God. When I started going back to church about ten years ago, it caused a change in my relationship with my friends. When I started working for a church, that change became a rift between Dave and I. Dave had been the singer for Drowning Pool for about three years and we were close friends. We watched football games together, had Thanksgiving together, he played with my kids… he was my friend. But now, I was working for the church that he had grown up despising. Dave, Stevie and I had grown up in small North Texas towns and were told all our lives that we were going to Hell for one reason or another. Mostly because we had long hair and listened to hard rock music. Dave didn’t talk to me for nearly two years. By then, I was working as a full-time youth pastor in Corpus Christi. When the band came to Corpus on their first major tour, they were there for two days. I spent two days hanging with Stevie, Mike and CJ, but Dave would have nothing to do with me. He never went anywhere we went, and if I came around, he left. After their show the next day, just before getting on their bus to leave, Dave came up to me. He gave me a hug and told me that he was sorry for avoiding me. “I thought that you would be different” he said. “I am different,” I said. “Yeah, but I thought you would be different different.”
Right then, I felt a door swing wide open. I knew that I could talk to Dave for the first time about my faith, and that he would probably listen.
But I didn’t.
I told him that I would see him the next time they were in town.
But I didn’t see Dave ever again.
Nine months later, Dave died of cardiomyopathy. His heart had become too weak to keep him alive and he died in his sleep.I never had the chance to tell Dave about my faith.
I had not been in Corpus very long when Dave died. His funeral was scheduled for the same night that our youth group was kicking off a new school year. Afraid of what people might think if I canceled the first youth group of the school year to go to a heavy metal singer’s funeral, I decided not to go.
This decision caused a rift between me and Stevie. Stevie, who had been my friend for almost 15 years.
Stevie, who was the only friend that stuck by me through my divorce.
Stevie, my best friend.
I decided two things from that week:
One, I would never miss a chance to talk to my friends about my faith. I never spend time with Stevie, Mike or CJ that my job or my faith or God does not come up.
Two, I would never let what people thought about my friends or my relationship with them to come between me and them.
I missed the chance to talk to my friend about my faith because I was afraid of what he would think and then I missed his funeral because I was afraid of what people think.
Part of my job here at Holy Spirit is to bring the youth of this church into a fuller knowledge of Christ and to help them to develop the disciplines needed to grow into a deeper relationship with Him. But God’s call on my life is much bigger than that. It isn’t limited to the youth of this church. In fact, God calls all of us to be witnesses for him for all people at all times. Not just the people here at church or the people we consider “safe”. So, I’d like to leave you with this challenge: Who are your friends and what kind of witness are you to them? Is your fear in God or in man?
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