A few years ago, I was working at a very large church. The church had a lot of money, I had a big budget, I had a lot of space and I had a lot of kids... But, I also had a lot of pride.
I had known for a long time that God was calling me to do specifics things - to go back to school and to go to seminary - but I was actively ignoring that call, wrapped up in my own success. I remember being in Costa Rica with the school and talking to one of the teachers and saying that I felt as if I would have to do something majorly wrong to lose my job there. A couple of months later, I did lose my job. I spent months trying to figure out what exactly I did wrong. I started to see pieces of it when I accepted a call to come minister here in Denison.
I knew that I had been running from what God had called me to and decided to stop running and start embracing. That is the reason I had my name legally changed and started going by Jonah, as a reminder of that decision. So, we moved here to Denison and I worked full time and went back to school full time.
Things did not go as we had thought they would. A little over a year after getting here, our rector left the church and many of our supporters left. It was only a matter of time before our time there ended as well. By the end of it all, Robyn and I were burned out and we felt burned by a church we did not feel did enough to support us and by a God who had seemingly brought us up here to abandon us.
I was only a year from finally finishing my degree, so we decided to stay in Denison. Honestly, at the time, the last thing I wanted to do was go start a new ministry somewhere else. In fact, for several months, I wanted nothing to do with any church or God. I was mad at Him. I started working at Wal-Mart overnights from 10pm-7am. It was hard work and even sent me to the hospital twice in three months. I was so bitter that after ten years of devoted service, God had dumped us here with no way of really supporting ourselves. I was making about 1/3 at Wal-Mart as I had been making at our last church, which was also much less than we had been making in Houston.
After about six months of this, Robyn starting dragging me back to church. I was still grumpy with God and did not want to go. The church we went to was doing a series on Paul’s travels and the preacher spoke often on calling and perseverance and faithfulness to God’s plan. I felt like he was talking to me personally, and that didn’t really make me any happier. Eventually, my hardness was chipped away and I began to see things differently. A few months later, we started going to St. John’s Episcopal Church in Pottsboro and shortly after that, I accepted their offer to lead their youth ministry. The church is very small and has no budget for youth. They pay me $200 a month. Three years ago, if you’d offered me $200 a month (less than 1/10 of my last youth ministry job!) to lead a youth ministry, I would have laughed in your face. What a difference a few years can make!
They say that hindsight is 20/20.
Looking back, I can see clearly how God has worked in our lives to bring us where we are. When we first moved here, we lived in a Duplex owned by the church, for free. It wasn’t the house we would have chosen, but it was free. We now live in the smallest house we’ve ever had. We’ve learned to live on about $1200 a month. I don’t know how she does it, but Robyn can feed us all on about $200 of groceries a month. Every need that we’ve had in the last couple of years has been supplied.
There is a poem called “Footprints in the Sand” that reminds me of this. It is about a guy who notices that when things are going well with him, he can see his footprints right beside Jesus’ in the sand, but when things are tough there is only one set of footprints. He asks Jesus why, when he needed him the most, Jesus seems to have left him. Jesus responds that when times were toughest, the reason that there is only one set of prints is that is because Jesus is carrying him. We’ve experienced this over and over the last few years. And yes, sometimes it feels like we’re doing it alone, but looking back we know that it is God taking care of us.
I’ve recently left Wal-Mart. I’ve been looking for a new job for quite some time, and found nothing. I should be scared to death, but for some reason I am not. Robyn and I both have a peace that passes understanding about this. We feel that this is the next step that God has for our lives. We both feel that God has called us to this place and prepared us for the ministry that has been placed before us. We don’t know how of this is going to work out, but we know that it will.
Everything thats happened in the last two years has prepared us for where we are now. God has given me a heart for reaching unchurched youth. He has shown us that we can live on a lot less than we ever thought we could. He has proven to us that he is with us and will not forsake us (even when I act like a spoiled brat).
We feel that God has called us to a missionary lifestyle. We will be raising support from family and friends. I will be doing youth ministry full time at the church and working to reach as many unchurched youth in our area as possible. Robyn will be right by my side, partnering with me. We’ve sat down and figured out that we can survive on about $1200 a month. The church is paying us $200, which leaves us $1000 a month to raise. We are asking our family and friends to help us in this. If 10 people could commit to give $100 a month for the next year, we would be set. If we raise more than that, we are still going to try and live into that $1200 a month figure and any extra money we raise would just keep us here longer or be available for us for unforeseen circumstances, if needed.
I'll be regularly posting on this website to update how all this is working out. Its an exciting time!
I had known for a long time that God was calling me to do specifics things - to go back to school and to go to seminary - but I was actively ignoring that call, wrapped up in my own success. I remember being in Costa Rica with the school and talking to one of the teachers and saying that I felt as if I would have to do something majorly wrong to lose my job there. A couple of months later, I did lose my job. I spent months trying to figure out what exactly I did wrong. I started to see pieces of it when I accepted a call to come minister here in Denison.
I knew that I had been running from what God had called me to and decided to stop running and start embracing. That is the reason I had my name legally changed and started going by Jonah, as a reminder of that decision. So, we moved here to Denison and I worked full time and went back to school full time.
Things did not go as we had thought they would. A little over a year after getting here, our rector left the church and many of our supporters left. It was only a matter of time before our time there ended as well. By the end of it all, Robyn and I were burned out and we felt burned by a church we did not feel did enough to support us and by a God who had seemingly brought us up here to abandon us.
I was only a year from finally finishing my degree, so we decided to stay in Denison. Honestly, at the time, the last thing I wanted to do was go start a new ministry somewhere else. In fact, for several months, I wanted nothing to do with any church or God. I was mad at Him. I started working at Wal-Mart overnights from 10pm-7am. It was hard work and even sent me to the hospital twice in three months. I was so bitter that after ten years of devoted service, God had dumped us here with no way of really supporting ourselves. I was making about 1/3 at Wal-Mart as I had been making at our last church, which was also much less than we had been making in Houston.
After about six months of this, Robyn starting dragging me back to church. I was still grumpy with God and did not want to go. The church we went to was doing a series on Paul’s travels and the preacher spoke often on calling and perseverance and faithfulness to God’s plan. I felt like he was talking to me personally, and that didn’t really make me any happier. Eventually, my hardness was chipped away and I began to see things differently. A few months later, we started going to St. John’s Episcopal Church in Pottsboro and shortly after that, I accepted their offer to lead their youth ministry. The church is very small and has no budget for youth. They pay me $200 a month. Three years ago, if you’d offered me $200 a month (less than 1/10 of my last youth ministry job!) to lead a youth ministry, I would have laughed in your face. What a difference a few years can make!
They say that hindsight is 20/20.
Looking back, I can see clearly how God has worked in our lives to bring us where we are. When we first moved here, we lived in a Duplex owned by the church, for free. It wasn’t the house we would have chosen, but it was free. We now live in the smallest house we’ve ever had. We’ve learned to live on about $1200 a month. I don’t know how she does it, but Robyn can feed us all on about $200 of groceries a month. Every need that we’ve had in the last couple of years has been supplied.
There is a poem called “Footprints in the Sand” that reminds me of this. It is about a guy who notices that when things are going well with him, he can see his footprints right beside Jesus’ in the sand, but when things are tough there is only one set of footprints. He asks Jesus why, when he needed him the most, Jesus seems to have left him. Jesus responds that when times were toughest, the reason that there is only one set of prints is that is because Jesus is carrying him. We’ve experienced this over and over the last few years. And yes, sometimes it feels like we’re doing it alone, but looking back we know that it is God taking care of us.
I’ve recently left Wal-Mart. I’ve been looking for a new job for quite some time, and found nothing. I should be scared to death, but for some reason I am not. Robyn and I both have a peace that passes understanding about this. We feel that this is the next step that God has for our lives. We both feel that God has called us to this place and prepared us for the ministry that has been placed before us. We don’t know how of this is going to work out, but we know that it will.
Everything thats happened in the last two years has prepared us for where we are now. God has given me a heart for reaching unchurched youth. He has shown us that we can live on a lot less than we ever thought we could. He has proven to us that he is with us and will not forsake us (even when I act like a spoiled brat).
We feel that God has called us to a missionary lifestyle. We will be raising support from family and friends. I will be doing youth ministry full time at the church and working to reach as many unchurched youth in our area as possible. Robyn will be right by my side, partnering with me. We’ve sat down and figured out that we can survive on about $1200 a month. The church is paying us $200, which leaves us $1000 a month to raise. We are asking our family and friends to help us in this. If 10 people could commit to give $100 a month for the next year, we would be set. If we raise more than that, we are still going to try and live into that $1200 a month figure and any extra money we raise would just keep us here longer or be available for us for unforeseen circumstances, if needed.
I'll be regularly posting on this website to update how all this is working out. Its an exciting time!
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